Understanding Grief: Stages, Healing, and Honoring Loss
Grief is a natural response to loss. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a life transition, or another significant change, grief touches all of us at some point. Yet many people struggle with how grief feels, wondering if they’re doing it “right” or if their reactions are “normal.”
The truth is: there is no single way to grieve. Everyone’s journey is unique, but there are common experiences that can help us understand and honor the process.
The Stages of Grief
You may have heard of the five stages of grief, first introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. While not everyone moves through them in a neat order, these stages give language to common emotional experiences:
Denial – Feeling shock or numbness, having difficulty believing the loss has occurred.
Anger – Feeling frustrated, resentful, or even angry at yourself, others, or the situation.
Bargaining – Wishing you could undo what happened, or asking “what if” questions.
Depression – Deep sadness, fatigue, and withdrawal from daily life.
Acceptance – Beginning to acknowledge the reality of the loss, and learning how to live with it.
It’s important to know that these stages are not linear. You may move back and forth between them, skip some, or feel them in a different order. This is normal.
Normalizing Grief
Grief is not a problem to “fix” — it is a natural human response. It may show up in unexpected ways, such as:
Changes in sleep or appetite
Difficulty concentrating
Feeling numb or detached
Intense waves of sadness or anger
A sense of emptiness or yearning
All of these responses are normal. Grief can take time, and there is no “expiration date” for healing.
Ways to Honor Grief and Loss
While grief cannot be rushed, there are ways to gently care for yourself and honor the loss:
Create rituals of remembrance – Light a candle, write in a journal, or create a memory box.
Stay connected – Talk with supportive friends or family. Sharing stories can bring comfort.
Allow emotions to surface – Give yourself permission to cry, to feel angry, or to laugh when joy arises.
Practice self-care – Sleep, nourishing meals, and movement help your body through this process.
Seek moments of meaning – Reflect on what the person or experience meant to you, and how you can carry their memory forward.
When to Reach Out for Support
While grief is a normal process, sometimes the pain feels too heavy to carry alone. Consider reaching out for professional support if you notice:
You feel stuck in one stage of grief for a long time.
Your daily functioning (work, relationships, self-care) is deeply impacted.
You feel hopeless, numb, or detached for prolonged periods.
You’re using substances or unhealthy behaviors to cope.
You simply want a safe, supportive space to process your loss.
Therapy can provide tools to navigate grief, validate your feelings, and help you find ways to heal while continuing to honor the person or experience you lost.
A Message of Hope
Grief reminds us of the depth of our connections and the meaning we place in our relationships and experiences. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting — it means learning to live with loss while finding ways to move forward with compassion for yourself.
At The Child & Family Therapy Place, Inc., I provide bilingual (English and Spanish), culturally sensitive therapy to support individuals and families navigating grief and loss.
If you’re carrying grief that feels too heavy, please call me at 831-272-2041. Together, we can create space to honor your loss, process your emotions, and find healing at your own pace.
To learn more, visit my Services page.
